The Crazy, Nasty-Ass Huffle Badger

This blog has been going for a while now, and though many of Huffle Badger’s followers have been around since jump street, it’s time to compile a glossary of terms Huffle Badger uses regularly in his blog.

Terms will be added or edited as necessary. To suggest an addition or an edit, merely  submit a request to the Huffle Badger.

Gryffinlion (n.) - The animal mascot of Gryffindor house. Gryffinlion is like a bad parody of National Lampoon’s Animal house. It is often observed getting into trouble, risking its life on stupid daredevil acts, and boasting about its exploits. Often, Gryffinlion reeks of a most foul odor. Despite all of this, Gryffinlion is a brave, determined friend of the Huffle Badger and the two regularly challenge each other out of sincere boredom.

Huffle Badger (n.) - The animal mascot of Hufflepuff house and the most badassed creature in the entire animal kingdom. It often runs in slow motion.The Huffle Badger is often seen prowling around Hogwarts castle grounds not giving a shit. Despite its kind and sharing nature, it has a predisposition for taking what it wants. Its diet mainly consists of whatever it can find in the Hogwart’s kitchens and it has absolutely no regard or tolerance for bullshit and huffle hate.

Huffle hate (n.) -  A deep, emotional dislike or disregard for the loyal house of Hufflepuff. Those who engage in the process of huffle hate are referred to as huffle haters. Huffle sometimes stems from ignorance about Hufflepuff house, but it usually stems from a deep-seated jealousy, because Hufflepuffs are so incredibly awesome.

Puffling (n.) - A crazy, nasty-ass follower of the Huffle Badger on Tumblr. Pufflings are recognizable by their inability to give one single shit, their badass smiles, and their particular inclination towards finding shit. A puffling may belong to any of the four houses at Hogwarts.

Ravenbird (n.) - The animal mascot of Ravenclaw house. It prefers to reside in its natural habitat, the Hogwarts library and is often observed sharing worthless bits of information to any passing students, faculty, or Huffle Badgers who appear to be listening. Ravenbird is extremely intelligent and logical, and happens to be one of Huffle Badger’s best friends.

Slythersnake (n.) - The animal mascot of Slytherin house and the very bane of Huffle Badger’s existence. It is legless, but not spineless (despite pointed accusations made by Gryffinlion). It is most often observed irritating the living fuck out of Huffle Badger for pleasure. While very ambitious and cunning, Slythersnake has a predisposition for committing dubious and often sinister acts. Despite its regular feud with Huffle Badger, the two are actually good friends.